When I was 15 years old, I decided to have sex with a boy to be accepted by my peers. My first time having sex, I became pregnant. Often times I would hear my mother say “don’t come up in here pregnant.” So telling my parents was not an option. Somehow I thought by keeping it a secret and hiding my stomach, no one would ever find out...never. I hid it well until my mother noticed my stomach. At that point, I was 9 months pregnant and due any day.
That’s when my worth, esteem and confidence slowly disappeared within two weeks. The stares, whispers, demeaning words and harsh tones pierced me like a sword. What finally broke me was when an extremely close family member handed me an envelope for Christmas. Everyone found out I was pregnant about two weeks before Christmas, and I delivered my son on Dec. 29. A feeling of joy and relief came over me as I received the envelope. I thought people were beginning to see that I made a bad decision, but I wasn’t a bad person.
I opened the envelope only to find 2 pennies inside which defined my worth for over 20 years. As a matter of fact, I was in the negative. I piled on false images to hide who I thought I was and proceeded with life assuming that was my story forever. While I grew up in church, it wasn’t until I totally surrendered to God and His word that I realized I am defined by God’s word and nothing else. Yes, I made a mistake, but God’s unmerited favor towards me allowed me to rise above and overcome ALL obstacles. And that’s what makes me an unstoppable Grace Girl.